Elin's Anthem

So Elin Nordegren found out Tiger Woods has been cheating on her for their entire relationship and took a golf club to his Escalade. I love it when little white girls like me go ghetto.

Here's the thing - Tiger issued a half-hearted, PR-driven admittance and apology for his indiscretions today, but his various extramarital holes-in-one have been known in the gossip biz for years via thinly-veiled "blind" items. You can't be one of the most recognizable sports figures in the world and expect the low-rent cocktail waitresses you sneak around with not to talk about it.

I don't know his marriage and neither do you. What I do know is that they have two beautiful kids, and when you're a father and you sleep around, you're not just cheating on your wife - you're cheating on your kids, too. That is not a role model, and that is not someone who deserves to earn $1 billion in endorsement deals by being a role model.

So Elin, you do what you need to do to that Escalade and every other car in the garage (and the mansion and the yacht, while you're at it). Then get yourself a good lawyer and take those kids someplace where they won't grow up thinking it's okay for a man to hurt and humiliate the mother of his children.